An anime geeks Guide to the galaxy
by Miss Samurai
Summary: When you have mental health issues anything can happen. Me and my pals go on a great adventure into...the unknown. Wreaking havoc, might I add. Foul mouthed teenagers, therefor is rated T.
1. Chapter 1

**My weirded out brain sort of produced this when I started daydreaming and they started getting a little out of hand. I don't own anything but my daydreams and Squirm, Katy, and Mei. They are my slaves! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Naw guys I'm kidding. Oh, I use nicknames since that's what we always call eachother.**

**-Layla, aka Miss Samurai**

* * *

"So brain what're we gonna do today?" I joked. I was sitting in my best friend Mei's living room, staring at the TV, then staring at all three teenagers. Squirm, nicknamed for his spectacular cowardice (Aw I love you anyway you big weenie you!) had suggested video games, but the only game I wanted to play was sparkle quest and he hated it. It was a badass game okay, it has all these cute animated bunnies and beavers and whatever that one thing is with the...oh yeah, the plot. He didn't want to play that so we had nothing to do.

"If we were in an anime we would be fending off demons or something cool like that." Squirm complained.

"Pft. I wish." Katy scoffed.

"I wish I wish with all my heart to fly with dragons in a land apart." I recited.

"What the hell was that, Lay?" Mei asked, giving me that oh-god-she-lost-it-again look.

"It's from dragon tales. You know, that one kids show with-"

"Yeah we know where that chant is from, we were just wondering why you just...never mind" Katy interrupted.

"I actually wish we could be in an anime though, we'd fuck so many things up." I said with a chuckle. Suddenly we were in what looked like spongebob's secret channel. I started singing and dancing to the Time Warp song from Rocky Horror picture show. After a while we were in a room with several portals. I closed my eyes and pushed the three into a random portal, then followed.

"Layla..."

"Yeah I know! I don't even know where-" I was interrupted by a kunai flying through the air an slicing a vertical scar on my cheek. "We are..." I finished lamely, turning around to see which dead son of a bitch through that at me.

"Oh my god I know where we are!!" I said, running over and kicking my assailent in the face. He flew to the ground. "I've always wanted to do that." I said, watching as Uchiha Sasuke picked himself up, and glared.

"Yeah I don't even watch this show." Katy stated.

"I don't watch any anime." Mei said.

"Look guys, I'm two dimensional!" Squirm shouted.

"Yeah we're in Konoha, that's from 'Naruto'." I informed them, picking up a rock and knocking Sasuke out cold. "Those portals were prob'ly for differend animes." Suddenly a hologram of my little sister came. "_Laylaaaaaaa. Join me in deathnote!"_ It said and I quickly zipped up the portal she came through.

"I wanna' go in Inuyasha!" Squirm and Katy both yelled in unison, then glaring at one another for having the same idea.

"I wish we had the portal back." I said and it came up. "I GOT THE POWAH!" I yelled. "So you guys are going to Inuyasha? Mei are you gonna go home?" I asked.

"Naw I'll stay with you." She said with a shrug. Squirm and Katy left, and we decided to go explore.

"Maybe we should stop and ask for directions." Mei said when we were walking aimlessly through a wooded area.

"NO! Ninjas never ask for directions!" I yelled.

"Lay, I'm pretty sure ninjas don't yell either." Mei reminded me.

"Touche." I said. "Okay, since you know nothing about this anime, I will tell you that this is the entrance to the Akatsuki's lair. They are the 'bad guys'." I say, using the finger quotes. I knocked on a rock or something hoping someone would answer.

"Who is it? Un." A voice asked through the...door-ish thing.

"It's the...candy man!" I said happily.

"OH TOBY LOVES CANDY!" Another voice screamed through the door, swinging it open and hitting Mei in the face. I helped her of the ground and ran inside

"Fucking shit Toby what the fuck did you do?!" Hidan swore at the poor guy.

"Now that's mean! I yelled as Mei put her arm around Toby, who was now crying. I pinched Hidan. Hard.

"SHIT!" He yelped. "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!"

"That's impolite to your guests." I said. Deidara came over and looked at me for a long time.

"Layla! That girl looks just like you!" Mei pointed to Deidara.

"I'M NOT A GIRL!" He yelled. I laughed and pulled his ponytail. Suddenly I spied my stalkee coming from the bathroom.

"WEASLE!!" I screamed, glomping Itachi.

"Oh it's _you._" He grumbled, pulling me off of him.

"Yeah I came back for yooooou!" I said.

"Um...Layla?" Mei asked, interupting whatever Itachi was preparing to say. She pointing to Toby who was following her like a lost puppy.

"Aw I think Toby likes you!" I said, huggling both Mei and Toby.

* * *

**(Katy's POV)**

We got here a half an hour ago, and we still couldn't find anyone important. We jumped down every well we could find and still nothing.

"Maybe we should go back through the vortex and wait for Layla and Mei." Squirm suggested. I nodded and we headed back.

* * *

**(Layla's POV)**

"I'm bored here." I said. Mei nodded in agreement.

"I have a great idea! You know that game you bought that your mom won't let you play because it's too 'violent'?" I asked her.

"The Bleach one?" She asked.

"Yeah that one! Lets go there!" I said clapping.

"Well..." She pondered this. I sighed.

"We can bring Toby." I relented. She grinned. She liked the thought of keeping her new pet.

"TOBY IS A GOOD BOY!" He yelled. We left the Akatsuki lair with Toby trailing after his new best friend, Deidara trailing after me since he had nothing better to do, and Itachi dragging behind me due to the rope I had tied around his legs. I heard a rustling in the bushes. After hearing them for about a mile into our jouney, I gave Toby my Itachi rope and went to check it out. I found Sasuke Leaning against a tree, pretending to whistle.

"What the...Are you stalking me?" I asked angrily.

"No." He answered.

"Yes you are. Gah, I knew you had a thing for ugly girls. If you wanna stalk me then stalk me where I can see you, got it?" I snapped. He Didn't say anything but after I started walking he started following me again.

"You!" He yelled, pointing at Itachi.

"Yeah we've established that you're both here." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Are you gay?" Mei asked Sasuke a few minutes later. He snarled angrily and I laughed.

"Yeah Sasugay. Wait I don't look that much like a man!" I snapped.

"Sometimes you look like a dude, but most of the dudes here look like chicks." She said.

"Oh yeah." I agreed. Silence.

"I'm a sweet transvestite..." I started to sing. Apon arriving in the table of contents of portals, we met up with the other two.

"WUZZUP?!" I yelled to Squirm, who I saw first.

"WUZZUP?!" He Yelled Back.

"WUZZUP?!" Megan started yelling too.

"WUZZUP?!" Katy had come over.

"WUZZUP?!" -me-

"WUZZUP?!" -Megan-

"WUZZUP?! -Katy-

"WUZZUP?!" -Squirm-

"WUZZUP?! -me-

"I DEMAND YOU ALL TO BE QUIET!!" Itachi finally ordered.

"Hush hush man slave." Mei scolded him. An annoyed vein was now visible on his forehead.

"Oh I like Bleach." Katy said when I informed her of our destination.

"I know right?" I said as I shoved them all in the portal.

"Wow, It's dark here." Squirm said.

"That probably means we're in Las Noches." I said.

"What's with the spanish?" He asked.

"I don't know." I said.

"What's with the building?"

"I don't know." I was getting aggravated.

"What's with the lizards?" he asked.

"There lost souls and if You don't stop talking I'll kick you!" I threatened. By this time I had untied Itachi since running would be a waste of time, and he was mumbling something about wanting me dead.

"I'm hungry. Is there food here? I don't want to have to resort to sand." Katy said.

"Yeah well we can always just pick off the weakest in this group." I suggested. Everyone turned to look at Squirm and Toby.

"Oooor..." Mei said, uncomfortable with where the conversation was going, "We could mooch off of whoever is...there." She said, pointing to "the building" Squiem was asking about earlier. I shrugged.

"Okay then, onward weary soldiers!" I said.

"Huzzah!" Mei, Squirm and Katy anounced.

* * *

**Meanwhile...Elsewhere...**

* * *

"Gin, who are they?" A man named Aizen (A/N: saw that coming didn't you?) asked his assistant.

"Er...Tourists?" He guessed.

"In the land of the dead? They aren't dead yet!" Aizen asked incredulously.

"They could be lost!" Gin defended.

"Lost?" Aizen asked, then he muttered something about incompetence. "Go see what they want, and if they pose a threat, kill them." He ordered.

* * *

**Dun dun dunnnnnn! Cliff hanger. I dunno what I was thinking honestly I was half asleep and..Yeah a super special thankies to my three bested-est buddies who starred in...this thing.**

**-Samurai**


	2. The not so tragic death of Squirm

**Okie Dokie, my brain hath produced more! (I names wrong so I don't get sued or something. Remember, we are all using aliases)**

* * *

"So...We're lost again?" Mei asked.

"No we aren't!" I lied.

"It's dark here...and I'm scared!" Squirm whined. Suddenly a group of hollows that looked strangely like my long dead goldfish appeared. They sent doom blasts at all of us, and I dove to get Katy and Mei out of the way, completely forgetting about squirm. Luckily, he had bent down to pick up the soap... I mean a lizard, and the blast missed him completely. Unfortunately it hit a nearby tree and the tree fell on him, crushing every bone in his body, and the goldfish hollows.

"Oh my god! Squirm is dead!" Katy gasped. Mei and I looked at each other, then back at katy.

"So?" We said in unison. Katy shrugged.

"I assumed you would care." She said.

"Do you?" I asked.

"No." She said. Suddenly my best friend (bestie best best!) Rage walked up to us wearing a shihakusho (soul reaper uniform; literally "clothing of the dead")

"Hey Rage, since when are you a soul reaper?" I asked.

"You don;t remember?" Katy asked, looking at me funny.

_-flashback-_

_"Hay Rage -hiccup- you wanna know a secret?" I ask him, completely wasted._

_"What is it?"_

_"-Hiccup- I ams a soul reaper! -burp-"_

_"Yeah I knew that." Rage said, sounding annoyed._

_"D'you wanna be soul raper Rage?" I asked, smiling stupidly._

_"Soul_ raper_?" He asked incredulously._

_"Uh-huh!" I Said as I stabbed him in the heart with my Zanpakutou._

_"Oh geez...Why'd you give me some of your powers?" Rage asked, alarmed that I was drunk and that I had a weapon._

_"Yup."_

_"That was a question..." Rage said before I passed out next to him._

_-end flashback-_

"Oh...Right." I said, suddenly remembering the whole incedent.

"Yeah. I came to help squirm pass on." Rage finished.

"Oh...so do you wanna come with us? We're of to see lord Aizen."

"Oh sure!" Rage said, following us and leaving Squirm's soul to be eaten by the lizard he was playing with.

* * *

**Haha. That was funny, huh? **

**Review...Or else.**

**Well...unless you don't want to.**


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